Nelipot
by DovahFinn
Summary: Nelipot- one going barefoot. (PHANfiction) (T for language)


**A/N: OKAY I KNOW I SAID I'D UPDATE CHAIN REACTION BUT A LOT OF STUFF CAM UP AND I'M MAKING EXCUSES I KNOW BUT IT'S TRUE SO I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO TYPE IT UP I'M SO SORRY HERE HAVE A ONESHOT I NEVER UPLOADED. oh and also yes i notice it is 3:42 in the morning (here at least) so yeah sorry about that**

_Nelipot- one going barefoot._

* * *

Dan walked into his flat, whistling a cheery tune as he slid off his shoes, hanging his jacket on the coat rack and walking calmly into the kitchen. "PHIIIL? I'M HOME!" he called. No answer. He shrugged it off, rummaging through the fridge. He pulled out the jelly to make a sandwich and set it on the counter, spotting a note in Phil's handwriting as he set it down. He picked it up, figuring it would explain where Phil had gone.

_Dear Dan,_

_Hi. I have three things that I need to say, but I honestly have no idea how to say what I need to say, because I feel like I need to say it right but I also feel like there is no 'right' way to say it. So I'll just say it. I love you. Like, a lot. More than a friend. I. LOVE. You. But I know that you don't. LOVE. Me. In the same way. But I still love you, Dan. So, one down. The other thing is that I think I'm depressed. No, I don't think. I know. I am depressed. Simple as that. But the next thing isn't so simple. By the time you're reading this, you've either caught me writing it and are about to slaughter me for it, I'm on my way, I'm standing on a bridge, or I'm dead. Have you caught up on the theme yet? This is a suicide note. I'm going to jump off of the bridge. Into the Thames. Huh. I guess it is simple. Well, in any case, I love you. So much. Don't forget that. Ever. Well, bye._

_Love,_

_Phil_

Dan stared at the paper in his hands with a dumbstruck expression, his eyes flying over the paper at least eight times before he fully grasped the concept. He quickly stuffed the paper in his jeans pocket next and ran out the door as fast as he could. _No. No, he can't do this to me. He can't confess to me and tell me he's going to kill himself on the same sheet of paper_. He sprinted out the doors of the apartment complex, flying down the pavement towards the bridge. _No, no, no._ He searched through the tens of heads walking down the pavement, looking for the one with black hair on it's way to end it's life. Phil. Not until halfway there did he realize that it was snowing. And he'd forgotten his coat. But in the same instant he realized that, well, he didn't care. He shoved through people, scanning them for his best friend, until he saw him- only twenty feet in front of him. _He hasn't made it to the bridge yet._ He ran towards him and jumped on him, grabbing him around the waist, effectively sending both of them flying to the ground.

"What the- Dan!?" Phil cried. Dan laid on top of him, his throat and sides searing as he gasped for breath, holding on to him for dear life.

"Phil. Phil, you're okay. Oh my god. You're okay. Oh my god. Phil," he gasped, repeating the words over and over. He couldn't seem to register them in his brain. _Phil is okay_, he thought, but he couldn't calm himself. His body was still in overdrive, adrenaline pumping through his veins. "Don't. Ever. Do. That. To. Me. Again," he panted. They locked eyes, staring at each other while pedestrians gave them weird looks.

"..Dan," Phil mumbled sadly. "Dan, go home. I have stuff to do." Dan almost laughed, but his flaming lungs prevented him from doing so.

"No. You aren't doing that. Not today. Not ever. Never, ever. No," he insisted. Dan stood and offered Phil a hand up, which he took. Once Phil was back on his feet, Dan didn't let go. He held on to Phil's hand as they walked back to their flat in silence, an unbearable tension between them. But Dan didn't let go. He was still trying to reassure himself that Phil was _here_, Phil was _alive_ and Phil was _safe,_ that Phil wasn't going anywhere. Three quarters of the way there, Phil broke the silence.

"You're not wearing any shoes," he pointed out. Dan looked at his feet, and sure enough, he was walking barefoot through the snow.

"Oh. I suppose so. I hadn't even noticed," he admitted truthfully. The rest of the walk home was silent, the only indication that they were even acquaintances being the death grip that Dan had on Phil's hand as he tugged him home.

The flat door closed behind Dan, but this time he wasn't whistling cheerfully. No, he wasn't whistling at all. He paused at the door while Phil removed his jacket and shoes, re-taking his friend's hand and pulling him into the lounge. He sat down on the couch and Phil sat beside him. Silence pressed on them from all sides. Dan repositioned himself so he was sitting cross-legged, facing Phil, and their eyes locked together. Dan's last shreds of adrenaline fell away, the enormity of what had just happened crashing over him. His eyes began to water, tears building up in his eyes. And then they came down, and they wouldn't stop, and the calm-if-not-angry Dan that had marched Phil home was gone- replaced by a man who was sobbing his eyes out in front of his best friend. He dove forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Phil's middle, sobbing into his Gengar tee as Phil gently patted his hair.

"You- you idiot! I was so scared! I was so- so scared," he choked out between sobs. "You go and try to kill yourself, and all I get is a 'well, bye,' on a piece of notebook paper! I was.. so.. scared. When I saw you I couldn't stop running and I barreled you over, but I'm pretty damn sure that I knocked over at least five other people while I ran as fast as I could through a crowded place," he rambled. He picked up his head and looked Phil straight in the eye. "You idiot," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," Phil whispered back. Dan sighed and stood up, fisting his hands in his own hair, ready to rip it out.

"You're SORRY!? You fucking tell me in ONE NOTE that you LOVE me and you're going to KILL YOURSELF and you fucking say you're SORRY!? Oh my god, that note. I was so excited at first, thinking_ he fucking loves me too_, and then within thirty seconds I'm sprinting out the door with bare feet so you won't kill yourself," Dan cried in frustration. Dan walked over to Phil and fell to his knees with a thud, crossing his arms and laying his head on Phil's knees. Phil placed a tentative hand on Dan's head, stroking his brown hair carefully. "Phil..." Dan mumbled, picking up his head and looking at him. "Why?" he whispered. He looked so broken and defeated, so sad and forlorn- Phil felt a tear slip down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry. I just- I was so fucking done, I didn't want to have to watch you grow up and get a girlfriend, I didn't want to have to watch you fall in love with someone else, I guess I just kind of lost it," he admitted. Dan sighed, crawling onto the couch and wrapping his arms around Phil's shoulders. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's stomach, crying softly into his patchwork shirt.

"Phil, you're so stupid. So, so, stupid. I'm not going to grow up and fall in love with a girl. I thought I'd made it clear that I was in love with you, you idiot," he said sadly. Phil peeked up at him.

"...Really?" he mumbled. Dan nodded, tucking a strand of Phil's hair behind his ear.

"Yes. Do you want me to say it formally? I love you, Philip Michael Lester. But that's not getting you out of what you tried to do," he scolded. Phil pouted, his light blue eyes still shining with the ghost of tears. "Tonight, we will have a movie night. And then tomorrow I'm getting you set up with a therapist. Okay?" he said. Phil's mouth opened, giving Dan an incredulous look.

"Wh-what!? Noooo! I don't want to see a therapist!" he protested. Dan huffed, giving Phil a stern look.

"You're going. You were on your way to kill yourself. You're not getting out of this, Phil," he insisted. Phil groaned.

"Nooooooooo."

"Yes."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"Yup."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"If I give you a kiss will you go?" Dan tried, giving Phil a sly smile as his cheeks reddened.

"U-uh," Phil stuttered. Before he could properly answer, Dan took Phil's chin in his hand and leaned forward, capturing his lips in a soft, sweet kiss. Phil's eyes fluttered closed and he kissed him back, feeling lighter than air. Dan pulled back, giving him a smile.

"So, will you go?" Dan asked. Phil grinned.

"Maybe for one more," he chuckled. Dan laughed and pressed his lips to Phil's again, happy that Phil was safe. Sure, they were in a dark spot now, but he could already feel it getting better.

**A/N: YAAAY HAPPY ENDING. I know these 'suicide note' phics are kind of typical, but I tried to change it a bit.. unsuccessfully. Sorry. Anyways, this prompt came from the LOVELY MALTESER24! WOOO! YAY FOR HER! (no srsly everyone go shower her with love yay) If you want me to write your 'fancy word' prompt, leave it in the reviews! Any other prompts? Just PM me, I don't bite! :D Love you guys!**


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